He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
