I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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