put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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