They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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