Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
