ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
there was a trapeze. enough said
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
