you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
