i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
