...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
