ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
