Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
