I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Houston, we have a blender
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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