Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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