Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My liver is preforming stress tests.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
