Swine flu. Run for my life!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
