i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
