I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
