Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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