Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
