dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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