How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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