5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
