i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
