Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
