Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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