Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
