I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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