That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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