did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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