I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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