why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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