how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
