tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
