I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
two words...techno handjob
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
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