hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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