True but thats because hes a fetus.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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