How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
