Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
