Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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