Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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