definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Panties = found
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