My room smells like vodka and shame
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
