i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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