God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
