It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
