Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
