Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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