you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
