ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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