i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
