I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
